So I am a little concerned that I am slipping back into my old ways. Last Saturday I had to white knuckle most of the day because I was romanticizing and wanting a drink. I used some of my tools - talking to my brain (basically my inner child) and having dessert. The connection I had with God in AR is clearly missing. I know that is from not meditating every morning and letting life get in the way of that relationship. I am excited about working with Joan and renewing my excitement about my program! I call her every day and we just talk about whatever might be going on. We'll meet Sunday and have coffee and talk about the Doctor's Opinion and the fellowship. I'll talk to her about how I can reconnect with God and get back on track. I don't want to "pink cloud" my sobriety but I don't want the old crap either.
I have been going to a meeting every day since I got out of AR but the other night I did leave early, despite the fact that it was a good meeting. Today Sarah is going to Horseshoe Bay so I have the day to myself. I plan to use that time to relax and visit with God, working my myself and my sobriety. I don't want another Saturday spent wishing I wasn't an alcoholic.
Today I am going to get my tattoos touched up and get my koi worked on at Eternally Bound. I'll have lunch at Souper Salad before that and I'll run and get my hair trimmed. After my tattoo appointment, I'll come home, do laundry and watch some college football. OH I'll make a Target run to use that old gift certificate and grab a lunchbox.
At some point today I'll go for a walk somewhere. Maybe I'll just walk up to campus and enjoy the weather - or window shop the drag. I'll take my Big Book and study to get ready for my meeting with Joan tomorrow. I'll check the schedule to see what meeting I want to hit also...
Most of all, I'll ask God to keep me sober and smoke free for today. And I'll ask him to keep Shari and Sarah safe.
More later....
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