I am working on my 4th step but haven't been able to visit with Joan in a week or so due to the holidays. I'll call her today and set up a time this next week or weekend to go over what I have so far - which is nothing yet ;) Today Sarah is home safe from her folks and I feel blessed - to wake up and have coffee and pet our boys and just have her home. We go visit my mom in Dallas today until Saturday - which will be so much fun! She gets to meet Allister for the first time, so I am really excited about that.
Being sober is the best gift I could every have. I think I needed to be reminded of what my life WAS like - my dreams and Allister's incident were intense. Now I want to focus on what I what I am like now :) I look forward to visiting the Buddhist Center with Sarah on Saturday mornings - here's the place! http://www.meditationinaustin.org/
Be well and have a good lead-up to the New Year - more later!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Allister Gets Away...
The most amazing thing happened last night. Our good friends, Dina and Jason came over to exchange gifts and as Sarah was letting the dogs back in, Allister (the boxer) slipped out the front door. We all ran after him, but he figured this was a game and turned around to see us and ran again.
He headed toward 29th street, which is a busy throughway and I heard Sarah screaming up ahead. I rounded the corner and saw that he had narrowly avoided being hit by a car. She was able to flag the next car to slow down - but not before they hit him. I saw him get tapped and roll over, then run again.
Everything turned out fine, Jason caught Allister and the girls stopped to help. Allister is miraculously without injury and just as happy as can be - he slept between us as usual last night.
I, unlike the boxer dog, am very much shook up. When I saw him get hit, my knees gave way and I fell in the street. Then I tried to get up and fell again. My knees had no strength. My only injuries were a bruised knee and a couple of cuts on my hand. So I was very lucky - both of us were.
When I got back to the porch everyone was asking if I was OK and processing what just happened. As I was headed to my bath after they left, Sarah and I held each other silently for a while. I told her "something just happened to me" and she agreed but I didn't know what else to say.
Later I figured it out and shared with her. My knees giving way and my falling reminded me of being drunk. And everyone asking if I was OK reminded me of being drunk. Most of all, I felt that in the most important time, I fell down. I was no use to anyone. That more than anything, reminded me of being drunk.
So I prayed last night before I went to sleep and thanked God for letting Allister live another day. I prayed for strength to remain sober and to find peace in this whole thing. This morning I said my 3rd Step Prayer and will talk about all this in my meeting tonight. I have to - we alcoholics don't have the luxury of secrets.
Love to all of you - more later...
He headed toward 29th street, which is a busy throughway and I heard Sarah screaming up ahead. I rounded the corner and saw that he had narrowly avoided being hit by a car. She was able to flag the next car to slow down - but not before they hit him. I saw him get tapped and roll over, then run again.
Everything turned out fine, Jason caught Allister and the girls stopped to help. Allister is miraculously without injury and just as happy as can be - he slept between us as usual last night.
I, unlike the boxer dog, am very much shook up. When I saw him get hit, my knees gave way and I fell in the street. Then I tried to get up and fell again. My knees had no strength. My only injuries were a bruised knee and a couple of cuts on my hand. So I was very lucky - both of us were.
When I got back to the porch everyone was asking if I was OK and processing what just happened. As I was headed to my bath after they left, Sarah and I held each other silently for a while. I told her "something just happened to me" and she agreed but I didn't know what else to say.
Later I figured it out and shared with her. My knees giving way and my falling reminded me of being drunk. And everyone asking if I was OK reminded me of being drunk. Most of all, I felt that in the most important time, I fell down. I was no use to anyone. That more than anything, reminded me of being drunk.
So I prayed last night before I went to sleep and thanked God for letting Allister live another day. I prayed for strength to remain sober and to find peace in this whole thing. This morning I said my 3rd Step Prayer and will talk about all this in my meeting tonight. I have to - we alcoholics don't have the luxury of secrets.
Love to all of you - more later...
Monday, December 18, 2006
Rebel and Such...
Today I feel tired and woke up with a bad headache. Tonight my plan is to head directly to the alumni meeting and meet with Joan prior to that at 6:30 :) I will be working on my 4th step and will devote 30 minutes a day. I am excited about getting it done and have heard about the transformation that should come. I am embarrassed that I went to the alumni party on Saturday and was clearly feeling down. Rebel could tell when I said I'd be taking off early - "I saw that one coming," she said. Oh well...
The detox meeting at the treatment center went really well! There was a man named Richard that cried and we all made him feel something, which is pretty amazing. Sarah goes out of town for a few days on Friday, I am going to just go to every meeting I can, watch movies at night and devote myself to Nintendo. Anything to not drink - I know I'll be tempted.
Steady as she goes, as the Raconteurs say :).......
The detox meeting at the treatment center went really well! There was a man named Richard that cried and we all made him feel something, which is pretty amazing. Sarah goes out of town for a few days on Friday, I am going to just go to every meeting I can, watch movies at night and devote myself to Nintendo. Anything to not drink - I know I'll be tempted.
Steady as she goes, as the Raconteurs say :).......
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