I drank today. I am feeling really down - I called Joan, my sponsor. I just did it and had grand fantasies of being able to drink from now on. Ridiculous. I will pray and get back on my program. Tomorrow is the women's meeting and I'll say what I did. I am so ashamed but I hope God can forgive me.
More later.
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1 comment:
Well; you're still alive. Which is a great starting point. And you've written about it, so you have the capacity to be honest (see AA Big Book, chpater 5, How It Works)
Be ashamed? Hmm. I don't know if that's how you "ought to" feel. Maybe disappointed rather than ashamed? As for God - I think it's about forgiving yourself this relapse and getting way, way down and dirty and getting to the root of why you drank again.
Take it easy. It's a day at a time. Or an hour at a time. Whatever it takes.
I'm rooting for you.
:-)
x
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