So I had a cigarette last night at the Alumni meeting for my treatment center. I am not disappointed quite as much as that as how much I felt I NEEDED it :( That worries me. I think it's simply the association with AA that makes it hard. Well - maybe not - Sarah and I were at a coffee shop yesterday (she was working on Yoga homework, me on my 4th Step) and they sell raw tobacco you can use to roll your own. I wanted one so bad to go with my coffee. Ugh - this is about as hard as white-knuckling sobriety.
Which leads to me an epiphany - I need to work my steps to tackle this smoking deal! Duh, huh? I'll get started today :)
My friend Rebel called and left me a message to call her Saturday, which I did on Sunday morning. She didn't call back and I heard at the meeting last night she had relapsed but was back on the program, having talked with her sponsor the next day. My concern is that she was supposed to speak last night and didn't show. I'll call her today and voice my support - she just needs to get right back on it. I think she knows that already...
I am excited about Portland in the fall but really worried about money. I need to pay off my bills and am not sure how to do it in time. Because I am a recovering alcoholic, I can't qualify for any PPD studies in town.
More in a bit - more coffee for now!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
"Because I am a recovering alcoholic, I can't qualify for any PPD studies in town. "
Not sure what that means? Bear with me, I'm a Brit!
A coffee and a cig go together. They were meant to be!
Ha - nice! PPD studies are medical studies in town that pay you to be a lab rat ;) Usually upwards of 1000.00 US dollars or more!
Post a Comment